Archive of Everything Memoir posts
A selection of Everything Memoir posts since 2018 -- it's long but some good stuff!
Hi everyone! My favorite newsletter provider, TinyLetter, is closing up shop. My Everything Memoir newsletter will now be here on a new newsletter platform called “Substack.” It will be free for now (and I do plan to keep it that way!)
This note includes an archive of selected posts from the last few years that might be helpful to you as your work on your memoir or personal story….plus some new posts will be coming your way soon with new thoughts and resources on memoir. Go ahead and skim belong to see if there’s anything helpful!
Thanks for being a subscriber. I’d love to hear how your story is coming along—you can leave a note in the comments below. Catch me up!
Many blessings on you and your story today,
Susy Flory
www.susyflory.com
June 15, 2018
Ready to start a little writing adventure? Let's take your book or story to the next level....
My mom was an Irish storyteller and I grew up listening to her stories about growing up in the Ozarks (sometimes just a wee bit embellished) and I found myself holding my breath, waiting for the mountaintop moment. It always came.
I think I inherited the storytelling gene but with ink and paper. Books are my first language and I live and breathe words and stories. I started out writing in the newspaper business with a tough old one-legged cigar-smoking editor who pounded out stories on an Underwood typewriter. Later, I graduated to freelance articles, then books. I've written 14 and I feel like I'm just getting started! I love reading and writing stories about unforgettable people who are living lives of adventure, courage, hope, redemption, and transformation.
Writing is the ultimate adventure. Books are alive and when you start, you're in for a ride because you're never quite sure where you're going to end up.
So, are you ready to start a little adventure with me? I've started this newsletter to share my best tips about how to write a story a reader absolutely can't put down. My favorite reviews say something like this: "I started reading and couldn't stop!"
These are all my secrets--hard earned secrets--because I always try to figure out what works and what doesn't. I really don't want to waste my time doing things that don't work; I want readers to actually read my books. You can have the greatest story in the world, but if no one reads it or they put it down because they're bored or switch to a different book on their Kindle, it means the story isn't working. (By the way, I'm using the word "story" here in the broadest possible terms. For my purposes, a book, article, or blog post = a story, whether it's nonfiction or fiction.)
I plan to write a newsletter about every 2 weeks. I'm looking forward to hearing from you, and please let me know what sort of help and advice you need. We're all learning, and I've made plenty of mistakes along the way so I can share what works, and what doesn't. I've had plenty of help, too, from people who cared enough to stop and share what worked for them. So that's what I'm doing here!
Thanks for listening, and talk to you soon. Blessings on your work!
Susy
10/24/19
Three tips today for a powerful memoir (plus a handout)
1) Develop your own unique writing voice. Don't try to adopt a formal fancy voice or something academic or teenagerish. Be yourself and pretend you're talking to a sympathetic friend, or someone whose in a desperate situation and NEEDS your story. Agent and blogger Rachelle Gardner says that "voice" is the expression of YOU on the page. So how do you develop your own voice? It takes practice.
TIP: grab a digital recorder or the Voice Memos app on your phone and tell a story. Then transcribe it. How does it sound? Is it more casual, fun, or informal than your typical writing style? Or more serious and literary, or more funny and snarky? The differences might help point you towards a more distinct writing voice.
2) Enlist some BETA readers. Whether it's a writing group you've found (or started), a book club, or a group of readers you find on Facebook, it's crucial to find some people who love to read the kind of story you want to write, and ask them to read some of your chapters. You need honest feedback on whether your story makes sense, keeps their attention, and delivers a powerful emotional experience.
TIP: Avoid using close family or friends, or other writers or editor-types, as BETA readers. They know you too well (and will have a hard time being honest). Facebook is a great place to find readers--they seem to hang out there. And they'll read chapters for free (or a sincere thank you in your Acknowedgments section someday).
3) Chart out your book in advance so you can write with momentum. I was on a research trip recently to a country where i had to drive on the wrong side of the road, AND navigate roundabouts (traffic circles). I came back with some gray hair, to say the least. But my saving grace was my GPS. As long as I knew where i was going, and had a voice to guide me, I could get out of the roundabouts. No one wants to get stuck in one of those, making endless circles (on the wrong side of the road!) Your reader will feel the exact same way about your book--they want to know you're GOING somewhere. An outline or visual map will help you infuse your book with this feeling.
TIP: Check out the attachment for some ideas on how to achieve this!
Click here for my 6-page original handout called
"Structure Secrets for Books and Stories"
10/24/19
TAKE THIS QUIZ on Memoir VS Autobiography/Biography (plus a free chart!)
Merry Christmas, a few days early! May the joy of the season settle on you like a soft sprinkling of intricate snowflakes, and the warmth of Love burn in your spirit like a brave and beautiful flickering candle.
Here's a QUIZ to help you figure out how to tell the difference between a memoir (or personal story) and an autobiography. Which one fits you best? (See answer key below.)
1) My story is going to be a detailed, meticulous history of my life (or someone else's life.) That means it is probably:
a. Memoir
b. Autobiography/Biography
2) My story is going to focus mostly on a certain season of my life. That means it is:
a. Memoir
b. Autobiography/Biography
3) With all that I'm planning to cover in my story, it's going to be several books (or one very long book). That means it is probably:
a. Memoir
b. Autobiography/Biography
4. I'm planning to include 2 or 3 short stories per chapter, crafted into scenes with dialogue. This is more commonly done with:
a. Memoir
b. Autobiography/Biography
5. I'll be writing in chronological order, not jumping around. This is probably:
a. Memoir
b. Autobiography/Biography
6. Plenty of background and accurate historical details are crucial for this:
a. Memoir
b. Autobiography/Biography
7. This should read almost like a novel, even though it's true:
a. Memoir
b. Autobiography/Biography
How did you do? I hope you aced the quiz, and that you have a little bit clearer understanding of the differences between memoir and autobiography. As always, come on over to the Everything Memoir private Facebook group and ask questions (or send me an email).
Click here for an original Everything Memoir flowchart
on Memoir VS Autobiography? How to tell the difference!
4/19/20
Memoir Pep Talk: 3 ways to keep writing when writing feels difficult
Hey, everyone! Warm greetings from your fellow memoirist, and a special greeting to new subscribers! I'm so glad you're here.
By the way, do you ever think of yourself as a memoirist? If you're working on a personal story, whatever stage, you are! I'm certifying you...and you can own that title, starting today (even if it's just to yourself).
My brain has been feeling a little foggy in this strange season, and maybe yours has, too. Here are a few ways to keep moving ahead on your memoir or personal story, even if you're not laying down as many words as you'd like. Research and development are valid forms of work, I promise you. Again, I'm pulling out my credentials and certifying that R&D is still working on your memoir, you memoirist, you!
Three ways to keep writing when writing feels difficult (for any reason):
1) Read good books that are similar to the one you want to write. Reading great stories that are well written is always a good idea, but even more so when you're working on one. Reading counts! And double gold stars for taking notes or highlighting stuff you like. (By the way, did you know Everything Memoir has its own bookstore? We just added a bunch of member-recommended favorites to one of the shelves. You can check it out here: https://bookshop.org/shop/everythingmemoir)
2) Brainstorm. Use butcher paper, a white board, journals, Post-its, index cards, construction paper, Pinterest, magazine collages--whatever sparks your creativity--to help with forming your story. (Yes, I know it's a true story with factual events, but you still want to make it as creative and engaging as possible, and that means working on the art and craft of storytelling.) Brainstorming counts!
3) Try co-working. While most of us can't get out to a coffee shop right now to work alongside a friend, you can do this virtually. Use Facetime, Zoom, Skype, or What's App and work for an hour with a friend online (You can also sign up for work sessions with others on websites like Focusmate). The first five minutes you say hello, and what you're going to work on. Then you work individually for 45-50 minutes (keep video and mic on for those comforting noises that let you know the other person is working, too). When time is up, tell each other how it went. There's something special about this and you will get so much done!
Blessings on your story today,
Susy
5/18/20
Hope you're doing okay-ish, plus 3 free memoir resources for you
Hi. I hope all is well with you and your family during this strange season of life. Some of us are not that okay, some of us are kind of okay, but I'd say all of us are wondering how okay we're going to be in the months ahead. I wish I knew, don't you? I wish this was a story and I could skip ahead to the end and know how everything turns out (this is a terrible habit I have when I'm reading a book that unsettles me or that I'm not completely captivated by--that way I know what happens and don't have to keep reading it if I don't really want to). BUT we can't. The pacing is slow on this strange story.
But what I do know is this: books and stories and memoirs can be life giving, even now.
They can be intriguing, encouraging, poignant, and powerful.
They can help us feel connected, anchored, heard, and seen, because we find out we're not alone in our struggles and worries.
They can give us hope, because if she can get through that, then maybe I'll be okay too.
They can light a beacon to give us enough light to find the next step.
They can make us laugh at the craziness of life on earth.
They can make us feel good that sometimes justice does happen and the villains do get caught.
They can take us to new places and settings and open up new worlds and eras we might never get to otherwise experience.
They can open our minds to Divine wisdom and truth.
They can introduce us to fresh new voices that we never forget.
Memoirs can be magical and transformative, in the very best way. You can be part of this amazing genre of writing, no matter your experience level, and I believe in you and your story. That's what I'm hanging on to these days!
DOWNLOADABLE: A flowchart/equation called "How to Write a GREAT Memoir." Link is below!If you'd like, you can download this graphic chart by clicking here: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1LZdsisGcK2A5lhH8eCZ_Wn8nGlOQu8Rc/view?usp=sharing
Hope you're doing okay!
Blessings on you and your story today,
Susy
P.S. As always, you're invited to join the Everything Memoir private Facebook group. Lots of great conversations going on there, along with free video teaching, handouts, and tips you can trust. If you're writing a memoir or personal story (or want to), it's the place to be. Join Everything Memoir here. Can't wait to see you there!
8/14/20
3 keys to create a killer scene (in your memoir)
Have you ever driven a fast car or ridden on a fast car? I used to ride my dad's quarter horse, named Y-Bar, and he was a slow, gentle and kind ride. Until he wasn't. If a horse nearby broke into a gallop, all of Y-Bar's breeding as a nimble and speedy cattle roping horse rose to the surface and he took off. If you were prepared, you stayed on his back. It was like he was spring loaded, he could take off so fast! It was an unforgettable experience.
Right now I have a rescue horse named Stetson and he's a retired racehorse. See how tall he is in the picture to the left? (I have to use a set of plastic stairs to get up on him.) Trust me, I am VERY careful in riding him because his long legs and power are like taking a ride on a rocket ship!
Now there are tons of differences between writing a memoir and riding a fast horse, BUT there is one huge similarity--you want the reader to hang on and go for a ride. You don't want your story to be the one that a reader just can't stick with because it's too slow or dry.
So what's the secret? There are plenty of secrets (and hopefully you've learned a few in Everything Memoir) but one BIG one is writing "scenes" into your memoir. A scene is a little story with a beginning, a middle, and an end. It has its own small dramatic arc and plays out like a movie scene--visual, appealing, and memorable. Here are three secrets to writing a powerful scene inside of a chapter:
1. The question is not, “what happened?” but “what needs to happen?”
KEY: A scene is a link in a chain of scenes that tell your story. Each one needs to advance your story in some way (and not always with action—sometimes it’s an important detail about a person, preparation for an upcoming situation, or explanation of something that has happened).
2. Ask yourself, what is the most surprising thing that could happen in this scene?
KEY: A good story needs some twists and turns. (Not every scene, but make sure sometimes there are surprises.)
3. Play your scene on the screen in your head. You know how there’s a cliché of writers staring out the window while working? It’s true!
TIP: Play the scene in your head, then play it again until it becomes clearer and more details. Replay the dialogue and begin to take down some rough notes.
In the end, there's nothing wrong with taking your time in a chapter or a story, but remember that once in a while, that baby needs to take off and RUN! And a powerful scene (and hopefully many of them) will help you do so.
Blessings,
Susy Flory
Everything Memoir
www.susyflory.com
9/16/20
My 3-hook rule for memoir or personal story
Hi everyone! Hope you're doing well during this unusual season. It's smoky where I live (the Sierra Nevadas in California) but beautiful at night, when the smoke lifts up and away and the trees seem to breathe out some pure air for me. I was just out taking my dog Sprinkles for a nighttime potty break and heard a spotted owl above me somewhere. They're endangered, and live in stands of old-growth trees. What a gift to know these owls are flourishing here in my little corner of the world! So life goes on...the stars are still sparkling, the owls are hooting, and we are telling our stories.
Now, about that hook! Back in 2009 or so, I was working on a book of true dog stories (or dog miracles, as I like to think of them) and I came across the story of Mike Hingson and his guide dog, Roselle. Mike is a blind man who worked on the 78th floor of the World Trade Center, and the day the tower came down, he and Roselle emerged unscathed. Their story of helping others, and surviving with humor, courage, and dignity, was extraordinary. Plus they had a very cool God story.
That book became Thunder Dog, my first New York Times bestseller. It's been translated into 20 languages, optioned for film, and used in schools and community reading programs.
I knew it would make a fantastic book. How? Mike and Roselle's story had three powerful hooks:
1. 9/11 was an unforgettable day every American experienced together.
2. Mike Is a man blind from birth who loves to help people understand that his disability is often actually an advantage!
3. Roselle was an amazing dog, a furry angel with four paws.
Hooks are elements of your story that are unusual, provocative, unexpected, engaging and emotional. A hook can be something everyone is currently talking about or concerned with in the culture at large. A hook is the reason someone picks up your book. A hook is a little surprising, and it's something that grabs the reader!
For hooks, I like to use the rule of 3 and I always try to identify AT LEAST 3 hooks for a memoir. RIght now I'm in line edits for the Donkey Whisperer book and my 3 hooks are: Ireland, PTSD, and donkeys (!)
Now think about your story in terms of hooks. Here are some questions to ask yourself:
What's the most unusual or unexpected element of my story?
What surprises people when they hear my story?
What sets my story apart from others?
What element of my story do people want to know more about? What gets the most interest or questions?
What part of my story is so exciting that I get butterflies when I think about it?
What elements of my story are conversation topics (or debate topics) in the culture today?
What is Oprah talking about currently? (Oprah has her finger on the pulse of the culture, I'm telling ya!)
Are there any elements of my story that are also in the published memoirs and personal stories I'm seeing out in the world right now?
I think you get the idea.Readers want stories and memoirs with subjects they care deeply about, are already talking about, and want to read more about. They also want to be surprised, delighted, and to laugh and cry through your memoir or personal story.
What are your 3 hooks?Give it some thought. If you're stuck, ask some reader-friends what THEY think your hooks are.
Many blessings on your memoir or personal story today,
Susy
10/20/20
Susy's 10 Rules for Memoir (inspired by the Elmore Leonard chart)
Hey everyone! I'm thinking about you and hoping that you and your family are doing well. And a very warm welcome to our new subscribers! Up here in the forest we're doing more-or-less okay--trying to keep the chickens safe from the bobcats, listening to the spotted owls hoot at night, picking apples from the abandoned orchard down the street and making apple cakes, and generally trying to stay safe and sane during this strange season. Making things when I can, in between working and adulting, makes me feel more alive and present. Especially if it's something that helps family or friends. How about you? What is helping YOU right now?
Another thing I love making is these Everything Memoir flowcharts. This new one is 10 RULES FOR MEMOIR, inspired by an Elmore Leonard chart someone posted in the Everything Memoir group.
FIRST, a very special thank you to Jeanette Hanscome, Linda Roo, Linda Rowland Kruschke, Lisa Baldwin Dornback, Becky Spoede Parker and Wendy Propps Casto who contributed thoughts on this topic in a post inside the Everything Memoir private Facebook group.
Here are my 10 RULES FOR MEMOIR.
(NOTE: If you like them, you can download a visual graphic here:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1quzSd4uNsz8soLxHhDgWqM-KkJauTB7E/view?usp=sharing)
1. NEVER OPEN A MEMOIR WITH "I WAS BORN IN..." You need a much more exciting beginning.
2. USE YOUR SENSES. Rich details that appeal to the senses (hint: there are more than 5!) will help cast a spell and enchant your reader.
3. BRING YOUR STORY TO LIFE with dialogue, scenes, and emotional tension. Read and study novels so you can take your reader on a journey like a novelist.
4. DON'T TELL US EVERY TRAGEDY THAT HAS EVER BEFALLEN YOU. Moments of humor and light are crucial so as not to overwhelm.
5. YOUR MEMOIR IS NOT A VEHICLE FOR REVENGE. Let the reader figure out who the villains are by their words and deeds, not through a label or judgement. Be toughest on yourself.
6. AVOID RANDOM SPOILERS. "Little did I know" or other preview statements should be used sparingly. Instead, let the reader take the journey with you.
7. AIM FOR A DESTINATION. The reader should feel like they're going somewhere. Everything in your narrative should lead to a high point, both plot-wise and emotion-wise.
8. FACT CHECK. Good storytelling is important, but don't make up events to be more dramatic (Google James Frey).
9. CHRONOLOGICAL IS BEST. Some memoirists jump around a lot in time, but it's tricky. If you plan to be creative with your timeline, find some readers to let you know if it's working or not. (You don't want to lose or confuse them.)
10. READERS ARE SMART. Don't be tempted to preach or tell readers what to think or feel. Here's a bit of storytelling advice from Charles Dickens: Your memoir should "make 'em laugh, make 'em cry, make 'em wait."Many blessings on your memoir or personal story today,
Many blessings on your and your story today,
Susy Flory
www.susyflory.com
4/20/21
Memoir beginnings & endings--and why you shouldn't rush them
Hey everyone! When a reader invests time and energy and heart in reading your book, you most definitely want to leave them feeling satisfied with the ending.
The question is, how do you do that? Because there are a million ways to end a book.
I typically rewrite my endings several times. It’s a bit of a process of trial and error until it feels right. To make sure it works, I have some readers try it out to see if they like it too.
What a reader will feel after a satisfying ending to a book:
The beginning promise(s) of the book or story has been fulfilled
A sense of happiness, warm fuzzies, or satisfaction
Takeaway – there are things to think about, aspire to, or tell others about
A feeling that the ending has been carefully thought out and well crafted
A strong desire to read the next book!
Many blessings on you and your story today,
Susy
7/2/21
3 Ideas for Building Your Platform (and selling copies of your memoir!)
My younger sister was an incredible salesperson. She sold Avon door-to-door when she was 14 years old, she sold overpriced artwork to wealthy tourists at a gallery in San Francisco, and she sold burial services to people way before they would actually need them. She could sell anything....and I could not. I was always more shy and retiring, awkward, and tongue-tied when it came to anything sales-related.
So the idea of trying to sell my memoir to readers? Ack. It gave me major butterflies! I'd rather just do the writing, and hope people would find it on their own (and love it!)
BUT, as you probably already know, it doesn't quite work that way. A keyword for platform/marketing is "discoverability," and people who will love (and need) your memoir or personal story also need a way to find it. Otherwise they just won't know it exists!
My favorite way to achieve discoverability is partnering with friends. I know I wouldn’t still be a writer, or have a career, without writer friends. By the way--the Everything Memoir Facebook group, and writers conferences, are a great way to connect with others who will help you!
So, here are three good ways to help build your platform (the place or the ways a reader might find you) and find readers:
Write an e-book (these can be short) that targets your ideal reader--someone who will enjoy a memoir or personal story like yours--and sell it on Amazon. >>TIP: On the last page or two, give the link to your full length memoir, your website, or (even better) your newsletter signup<<
Partner with other authors to do an epic book giveaway. Chances are you know other writers of memoir (whether in the Everything Memoir Facebook group or elsewhere) who would be interested in partnering on something like this. Everyone shares the news far and wide. >>TIP: There are different ways to do this kind of giveaway, so do your research and talk to others.
Create a quiz around the themes and elements of your memoir to share on social media. >>TIP: Here's some free quiz software: https://www.typeform.com/quizzes/
--> These three ideas were sparked by a blog post by agent Mary Demuth. For more great ideas on platform and marketing your memoir, check out this wonderful blog post: https://www.booksandsuch.com/blog/platform-ideas/
Your slightly awkward friend,
Susy
9/3/21
Nourish Hope for your memoir - 3 W's
"Hope is to writers as oxygen is to scuba divers. No writer (or memoirist) can survive without it." (Ralph Keyes)
Hello and happy Autumn! Today I want to point towards hope....Have you ever lost hope that you'll finish your memoir or personal story? Or that it won't get published and out there to readers? Or that readers won't like it?
I've felt like that. In fact, I feel like that all the time! (Unfortunately, these feelings are normal.) But I don't want to quit, so here are three things that help me nourish hope. I hope (!) they do this for you, too.
1. WHY do we need hope?
One reason is because of the R word--rejection. You might be afraid of, or experience, rejection from readers, publishers, agents, or even friends and family. Lots of well known writers and memoirists (including yours truly) has experienced rejection. I once had an Amazon reader buy one of my books during a 99-cent sale. They hated it, and in their review requested their money back!
>>TO REMEMBER: Rejection is normal. Everyone who writes experiences it.
2. WHEN do we need hope?
At every stage! When we first start working on our memoir, we're uncertain, confused, and sometimes feeling new, lost and alone. In the middle stages, we're not sure our story is good, or that it has value, or that it will ever get done. When we've finished and have published it, we worry about the responses of those who DO read it. Will they like it? Will they "get" it? Will it make a difference in the world?
>>TO REMEMBER: We're not responsible for how a particular person responds to our story. We're just responsible for writing and getting it out there. Here's another great quote from Ralph Keyes: "The thread that connects writers (and memoirists) is this: They don't give up easily."
3. WHAT is hope? What does it look like?
Hope is...not giving up. To cultivate hope, find encouragers, and find ways to ignore the "discouragers." Surround yourself with encouragers, because hope rubs off.
>>TO REMEMBER: Grit your teeth and keep writing. Sentences will come and some will be good. This builds hope, because hope takes practice.
I hope this helps nourish hope in you today. I find hope in continuing to write for the promise of joy---both in me, and for my readers. May you find hope in this too!
Blessings,
Susy
10/12/21
4 Best Ways to sell your memoir (once it's a book)
Hey everyone! Happy Autumn. Here's a recent photo from a bike ride at a mountain lake with gorgeous aspen trees. It was a happy day!
I taught a workshop this morning in a friend's Facebook group about how to write a book proposal. One point was about how to actually sell books (which is often talked about when discussing the idea of "platform.")
If you want your memoir to be traditionally published, you need to show agents and editors that you are committed to finding where your potential readers hang out and that you know how to reach them with the news of your book.
If you choose to self-publish (which is more and more a viable option for memoirists), then you want to be able to sell your books, which also involves finding where your potential readers hang out, and figuring out how to reach them with the news of your book.
In my experience, here are the 4 best ways to find readers (in order of effectiveness):
1. Public speaking or teaching where you make your books available, or will when the book comes out (this can include creating and teaching a workshop that you give at libraries, community centers, schools, churches, and other places like that. Another way is to create and host a TV or radio show, podcast, or YouTube channel with a committed audience--this used to be near impossible but is becoming easier and easier with the Internet and all of the options for reaching an audience!)
2. Newsletter: Creating a simple newsletter (like this one) is a great way to stay connected with your potential readers and to share things they're interested in!
3. Influencers: Building connections or relationships with those who have large platforms (and who are interested in topics or stories like yours) is a way to reach readers.
4. Social Media: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Reddit, Tiktok, and all of the others.
The Books & Such literary agency blog had a good article on this recently, with the idea of helping you prioritize how to do this: https://www.booksandsuch.com/blog/a-b-c-strategy-for-choosing-platform-priorities/
Let me know if you have any questions on this, and while you may not be at the point of selling your book yet, you can start to think about this, and learn more, at any point. BUT, writing your memoir should always be first priority--don't get derailed from the act of creation with the idea of selling. This is just something to know and deploy when the time is right.
Blessings on you and your story today,
Susy
11/29/21
3 Ways To Connect: How to find support as you work on your memoir
Writing a memoir or personal story can be so many things--exciting, joyful, therapeutic, life affirming, and clarifying. The memoir journey can also be anxiety-inducing, painful at times, and isolating. I've experienced all of these!
The antidote? It's community. Finding others who are on the same journey, and who understand some of your feelings as you work on your memoir or personal story. On the left is a photo of a friend named Marci and I met her at a writers conference! She went with me to Ireland as a photographer and drone operator on my upcoming memoir, Sanctuary, and in this pic we were at a ruined abbey. She'd made us Jedi buns from yarn as a joke (we had a running joke her being a jedi master with her drone skills). I never would have met her without going to a writers conference, and she has become a dear friend.
I know I couldn't have written the books I've written, or continue to write, without community--friends and acquaintances down in the trenches with me. I've found these friends in 3 ways: writers conferences, writers critique groups, and Faceboook groups.
Writers Conferences: These are gatherings of people who write or want to write. Many are ordinary people who are interested in writing a memoir or personal story (sometimes up to half the attendees!) West Coast Christian Writers Conference is coming up February 17-19, 2022, in Brentwood CA (a suburb in the San Francisco Bay Area). This conference is a friendly, warm, and inviting place to get help with your writing and develop that community of friends and memoirists who will be there alongside you. I'm the Exec Director and will be there to meet you! I'll also be teaching--more on that below, with details on the Flash Sale this week.
Writers Critique Groups: Everything Memoir has a list of critique groups you can join. These are online groups, who operate via email, and who meet usually monthly online in some fashion to look over and comment on each other's work. If you're interested, write a post in the Everything Memoir Facebook group to Penelope Childers, our group coordinator, and ask her for some info.
Facebook private groups: Facebook is becoming a collection of private groups geared to your interests, and the Everything Memoir Private Group is a great place to connect with other memoirists, ask questions, and get help and education on writing your memoir. And everything's free! If you haven't joined it yet, you can do so here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/everythingmemoir
1/13/22
3 ways to hatch your memoir (and a chick story)
On Hatching – eggs, ideas & your memoir
By Susy Flory
Once I was asked to pet sit for a friend.She lived on the edge of town and had a small farm full of animals, including a flock of chickens. When I went by to get instructions, she opened up the top of the chicken coop and showed me one of her hens sitting on a clutch of eggs.
“Keep an eye on the hen,” she said.“If she hatches out some baby chicks and leaves the nest, be sure to throw away any leftover eggs. They are probably bad.”
Sure enough, one day I showed up to take careof the animals and the hen had hatched out several chicks. She was out in the yard running around, trailed by a half-dozen little yellow puffballs.
Per my training, I opened up the topof the coop and saw three eggs still in the nest. I picked up the first egg, took a deep breath, and threw it far out into the bushes. I picked up another egg, and did the same.
Then I picked up the last egg,turned it over, and saw a hole. As I stared down at the hole, a tiny beak poked out. I might have screamed a little. Okay, I screamed. And almost dropped it. There was a chick inside!
What on earth should I do?I wanted to keep it warm, so on impulse I stuck it inside my bra. It seemed like the safest place, lying there right over my heart.
I finished my work, moving slowly and carefully. As I drove home, the egg felt warm and after a while I could hear a very faint peeping. I was delirious with joy and excitement, and kept laughing out loud as I drove.
At home I quickly prepared a boxwith a soft rag and a heat lamp and nestled the egg inside. A few hours later, a little miracle broke her way out into the world, soft, warm, fuzzy, and peeping. She’d had a close call (what if I hadn’t seen the hole?) but she’d made it through and she was very much alive.
That experiencereminds me so much of you and your idea for a memoir. Some memoirs are incubated and hatch easily, like the chicks running around outside with their mother. They seem to emerge into the world with little effort.
Some memoirs never hatch,because you can’t figure out what to do with it, you don't have support, or the desire fades away.
But some memoirs arelike the egg I found—an idea discovered and carried around, close to your heart. It’s alive, you can hear it faintly peeping, and it brings you great joy. But at some point, you have to let it hatch. You can’t keep it in your bra forever. Release it.
What would have happenedif I had held on to that egg? If I hadn’t released it, let her hatch, dry, fluff out, learn to use her feet, and stand up? What if I had never given her a chance to live out a life in the sunlight and fresh air?Let it breathe.
Your memoir is the same. You can’t carry it around forever. When you hear the peeping, it’s time to take it out and let it begin to break out of its shell. The world needs more beauty and inspiration.Let it hatch, and make its way in the world.
Many blessings on you and your story this year,
SUSY FLORY & the Team at Everything Memoir
4/14/22
Hi everyone! And a special welcome to my new subscribers! I hope you'll find some help and inspiration here for YOUR memoir or personal story.
A heads up that I'll be sending out five email newsletters this week. Usually I send one a month, so this is very unusual for me! But I have some stories to tell! I've been getting a ton of questions about how my new book Sanctuary came to be, when Patrick and I live across the world from each other and were complete strangers. I often get asked about how some of these other wonderful stories come my way, too. I’ve never written or spoken about my writing and publishing adventures publicly before, but I’m ready to open up and tell you some stories about global travels, celebrities and adventurers, and stories that carried surprises. So this week I'm doing a five day series on this, for both readers and writers. I hope you enjoy it!
Chasing Stories That Change Lives
On April 13, 2018, I received a website email from a man named Patrick who lived in Ireland. The subject line of his email was "Life Story," and he said he had one to tell. (You can read his email below).
My first thought was, "Patrick from Ireland?" Are you kidding me??!! Little did I know there are many, many Patricks in Ireland--an homage to the real life saint from the early days of Christianity on the Emerald Isle. But in the moment, I wasn't sure if this email was real or not. And even if it was, this guy was a complete stranger. In these days of email and internet scams, a girl can't be too careful.
Behind the scenes: Once you have a book or two published, you will probably start to get multiple requests for writing or publishing help from people you know. But once you have a website, you will start to get requests from people you don't know. Most writers are introverts, so this can be very unnerving. For example, I just got one today from a stranger in a faraway place (he says he is a very successful businessman who is wealthy and who is helping his entire family to become wealthy too) with the subject line "ASSISTANCE REQUIRED TO COMPLETE MY BOOK." He wants me to write a bestseller for him. Because this was a follow-up email to one he sent a few days ago, he also declared this was his "Second Notice." Eeeek. No thanks.
So back to Patrick's email. Before I could give in to my skepticism and write a quick "so sorry, but no I can't" note back, I noticed a link to a video called The Donkey Whisperer. I clicked on the link and watched. Then I watched it again, and again:
Patrick's donkey call grabbed my attention--I've been around animals all my life and never heard anyone who could do this--but what touched me was his strong connection to the donkey, named Jacksie. I didn't know anything about Jacksie's story yet, but I could see what a character he was, and how much he loved Patrick. These two were friends.
I'm no stranger to furry creatures on four hooves. My dad was a Texas cowboy and I grew up on horses. As a very young girl, I had a red fuzzy pony named Miss Prince, and later a rotund pinto pony named Stormy. Plus, I rode the full size quarter horses my dad used for team roping, galloping gleefully down gravel roads in my bent up cowboy hat and dusty little boots, so I knew horses...and the video touched my heart.
Also, not long before I had written a book about a rescued racehorse named Metro, and I'd done a ton of research about equine intelligence. We're just at the beginning of understanding the concept of herd intelligence--how a large group of animals can act as one--and also how to measure the intellect of a prey animal like a horse or a donkey with strong flight responses who often hide their emotions or pain, and who rely on the power of the herd for survival. These qualities sometimes make it seem like they're dumb creatures, or flighty and nervous, or stubborn and difficult. When you get to know donkeys or horses well, it also can seem like they have ESP--an extraordinary ability to connect with each other and with humans on a very deep level--almost like they can read your mind, or help and heal humans who are hurting (think of equine therapy programs for children and adults with profound physical and mental health challenges).
After I hit "watch again" a few times, I read Patrick's email with new eyes and an open heart. Who WAS this man? Who was this donkey? And what was the story behind their friendship?
I didn't know this quick email exchange would turn into a four year journey of writing and publishing a book with Patrick called Sanctuary. And it wasn't always easy! Tomorrow I'll share more of the story, and Friday I'll do a Facebook Live video on the Everything Memoir with Susy Flory Facebook page at 12 pm Pacific to tell you more and answer any questions you might have.
But for now, know that stories have power, and can reach across oceans, cultures, and even eons to connect people in strange and mysterious ways. Books are one of the ways in which stories can live on, and a way the dead talk to the living. Books are also a way strangers can meet, in a sacred contract where you are allowed a few hours to tell your story to another--directly into their mind, heart, and soul. I firmly believe books are alive, and I'll hope you'll join me this week for a few stories behind the scenes of a simple scribe-girl who writes books and chases stories that change lives.
More about Sanctuary here:
https://www.tyndale.com/p/sanctuary/9781496445018
A hearty Irish blessing on you and your story today,
Susy
3/12/22
3 Ways to Make Your Memoir a Page-Turner
Hi everyone! Is it hot at your house? It's been steamy here and not cooling off at night, which is unusual for the Sierras. The squirrels are all "splooting" in the dust, stretching out flat like a pancake, in an effort to try to cool off during the days. While I can't sploot to stay cool, I have been using fans and iced drinks to survive, and I'm mostly barefoot. Maybe that's my version of splooting; it definitely seems to help.
I've also been reading a lot. There's something about long hot days that makes me want to escape into the pages of a book that takes me away. But when it's hot I seem to get easily distracted, so books that keep me turning pages also keep me more engaged...and that's what you want for your memoir! A story the reader can't put down, or be distracted from. Here are 3 ways to make your memoir a page-turner.
Cultivate curiosity and anticipation. You want the reader to wonder this about you, as portrayed in your memoir: “Who is this person? “What is going to happen to them?” “Why is this going to happen?”
KEY: To create curiosity, allow people to act in ways that appear, at first glance, to be incongruous with their current circumstances. (But remember: Readers eventually need to know the “why” for your actions.
2.Cultivate concern.When readers care about you and your story, they will feel concern. But how do you create empathy and concern for a person in a memoir? You lead readers to think they already know what will happen….then you show problems arising--big problems.
KEY: The stakes must be high. Think about your struggles, then craft your memoir to make clear these escalating dangers or problems. Creating an engaging story means the main character (you) must overcome a big problem or conflict; this is what makes the story!
3. Crank up the chainsaws. When I lived in Southern California, there was a famous street performer who juggled chainsaws. He not only yanked the started and turned them on with a loud buzz, but then he went further and lit them on fire! In his honor, this approach to memoir is called The Dance of the Flaming Chainsaws. Here's the idea:
A great storyteller has the ability to juggle flaming chainsaws—multiple problems happening—a kaleidoscope of trouble, ever-changing and developing as the chapters come and go.
When you’re writing hard stuff, you need to give your reader a break at times. That’s where you need buzzing (flaming) chainsaws) alternating--with some of those chapters heavy, and some lighter.
Instead of resolving problems quickly, keep them going. Every time the flaming chainsaws pass through your hands, they gain speed, become more perilous, until at last they are extinguished.
KEY: Don’t introduce and resolve trouble in just a few pages. This makes it too easy for the reader to lose interest and get distracted. Remember, the chainsaws are always moving.
3/11/23
3 insider tips on self-publishing your memoir
Hey everyone! It's been a wild and crazy winter up here, the deepest snow anyone can remember. On the bright side, there is lots of time to read and write, since it's hard to get anywhere with all of the snow. I'm working on a new memoir about our unusual life up here doing wildlife rehabilitation--my daughter is a squirrel specialist an we have a barn with a squirrel nursery on our property where injured and orphaned squirrels have a safe place to recover and get ready to go back out into the forest. Needless to say, there are lots of stories to tell, plus I'm excited to write again about the idea of sanctuary.
Now for some insider tips on self-publishing your memoir.
3 insider tips on self-publishing your memoir
There are lots of options to publish your memoir these days, and the long-ago stigma of "vanity publishing" is gone. Plus, you can often purchase just a few copies, as you need them, instead of purchasing boxes and boxes--this was so stressful and expensive. A few tips for you:
1) Shop around.There are tons of self-publishing and book printing companies and you have lots of options. Don't go with the first estimate or contract you receive. There are lots of players now in this field, and I've heard many stories about writers who succumb to arm-twisting and spend many many thousands of dollars. Needlessly. Put on your business hat for this part of your memoir journey.
2) Consider "managed self-publishing."This is where you hire a project manager--often a one-person shop--who leads you through the self-publishing process. They will help you get the best cover, interior design, and editing (if needed) and walk you through the process. It's much more cost-effective and you're not contributing to a larger company's overhead.
3) Resist purchasing any marketing-related add-ons.The short story is--they don't work and are a waste of money. Please believe me on this. Paying someone a bunch of money to write a press release or put your book in a stack of others at a book fair, or include you in a list of other self-pubbed books in an advertisements somewhere--well it just doesn't work. Your best bet is grassroots marketing through your own relationships and efforts. Take a marketing course for authors and you'll get all the info you need to forge ahead on this.
Below is a good resource for you on typical costs.
***
Cost Report - Self Publishing
WHAT DOES IT COST TO SELF-PUBLISH? SOLVING THE MYSTERY....
Ever wonder what it costs to self-publish a book? This is the best source out there I've found for actual cost estimates (rather than sales-y stuff you might get from self-pub companies).
Click here to get some actual numbers on the cost of self-publishing: Cost to Self-Publish a Book
8/18/23
"It feels like you're talking in my head"
Hi everyone! One of the crucial elements in any memoir is voice. Yes, your written words carry your voice, and you want that voice to be clear, authentic, and unforgettable.
I learned the importance of voice with the publication of my first book in 2006. I was elated, of course. A secret childhood dream came true, and I wanted to share the joy with my friends and, especially, my family.
Our children were teenagers at the time, ages 13 and 17, and they both liked to read. When the first carton of actual, physical books arrived in the mail, the kids seemed excited for me. A few days later we were sitting at the dinner table when I casually brought up the subject. “So, what do you think so far?” I might have been smiling but my stomach was tight and felt my heart begin to pound.
What if they don’t like it?
The two looked at each other, eyebrows raised, and I knew to brace myself. Something was about to go down.
“Well Mom,” started my daughter, never one to hold back on her opinion. “I don’t know how to tell you this, but it’s really weird. It feels like you’re talking in my head.”
My son, his eyes focused somewhere above my head, nodded a bit. “Yeah. It feels like you’re talking in our heads.” No smile, just concern.
Me, I didn’t quite know what to make about it. Is this a good thing? I wasn’t sure, as they both seemed a little unnerved. Then it seemed funny. I had an Irish mother who was very articulate, a great storyteller, and who, like my daughter, also never held back on her opinions. There were times, especially as I got older and eventually lost her, that I felt like I could hear her voice talking in my head—advice, stories, opinions, even encouragement—she seemed to live on inside there somewhere. So maybe this wasn’t such a bad thing, especially since my mother was a great encourager and pretty funny, too.
Then I began to think more deeply about it, because I realized that somehow these black marks on a white page, printed and bound into a book, carried something of me—my voice. And not only my voice, but by ideas, my hopes and dreams, my feelings, my emotions, my memories, my advice and wisdom, and even something of my spirit, I began to see. The book wasn’t me, but it somehow carried something of me—enough to speak directly into my teenagers’ heads. And maybe even their minds, hearts, and souls if they chose to open the door and let my voice—and me—in.
The reaction of my kids was funny, but the experience also seemed to unnerve them. Your words, voice and message reach across time, place, and cultures. You relate to the reader/listener in your own unique, individual writing voice. Your words carry and offer up your personal knowledge. And, you and your story are agents of change, and somehow very difficult to ignore.
“Language is a God-given capacity that enables human beings to relate to God, the world, and to one another,” writes Kevin Vanhoozer in Is There a Meaning in This Text? The Bible, the Reader, and the Morality of Literary Knowledge.[1] “Authors [including memoirists!] have the remarkable power to set a language system in motion, do things at a distance, and to intervene in the life worlds of an infinite number of possible readers.”
A memoir is your heart, mind, and soul talking to the reader’s heart, mind, and soul . . . in YOUR voice. Don't impersonate someone else; be you!
8/30/23
3 New Kinds of Memoir
Hi everyone! Recently I came across something called a "Hybrid Memoir." I'll tell you more about that in a minute, but first, here are 3 new kinds of memoir I've become aware of.
Confessional Memoir: Are you looking back on some problematic decisions you've made or actions you've taken? Then a confessional memoir might be for you. Picture talking to a spiritual director, priest, pastor, or therapist and talking about the mistakes you've made, and what you've done to make amends and live a better life. In my chart on Different Types of Memoir (click here to view or download), I call this a Transformational Memoir. The difference would be that a confessional memoir is more about the process, and probably a long-term process, of learning from your mistakes and carving out a new and healthier life.
Portrait Memoir: More like a biographical or historical portrait, this type of memoir is based on the experiences or events of a person through documents, artifacts, journals, or historical accounts that can be mined to write a memoir that tells the detailed story of a life other than your own.
Hybrid Memoir: This is the one I'm fascinated by at the moment, because I LOVE this kind of memoir. A hybrid memoir combines an area of deep knowledge or expertise with a personal story. Some current examples:
Lab Girl: botany blended with the author's experiences as a scientist
The Soul of an Octopus: a naturalist ponders the nature of consciousness and intelligence through getting to know octopuses (I LOVE this book!)
Feasting Wild: In Search of the Last Tamed Food: A geographer and anthropologist embarks on a global culinary adventure to trace our relationship to wild foods.
You probably can already grasp what a hybrid memoir is--a beautiful blend of specialized knowledge (scientific, faith-based, historical, or other kinds) with the story of a person. When you're learning something new, some intense or complex area of knowledge, don't you love to know about the people involved? I do. I want a personal story to dive into, to get swept away with, to engage my brain and heart and mind and soul. Dry knowledge without story is like a dry lecture in an old dusty classroom. Give me story every time!
If you have an area of specialized knowledgeof some sort --- Music? Cooking? Archeology? Animal care? Gardening? Raising chickens? Italian race cars? Abalone diving? --- consider using that base of hard-earned knowledge to create a layer of content in your memoir, enveloped in a well-written story featuring personal experiences and emotions, to engage your readers. Intrigued? You can read more about hybrid memoirs here.
A fun preview: of my upcoming hybrid memoir: My 29 year-old daughter and I are working on a hybrid memoir because she has a specialized knowledge of squirrels.Yes, squirrels! She is a full time wildlife rescuer with a local nonprofit and she has rescued and rehabilitated hundreds of orphaned and injured squirrels, including flying squirrels. It's calledSquirrel Hearted: A True Story About a Fierce Girl Who Rescues Wild Squirrels … and Gives Them Back to the Forest.